I'll start...
Here I go!
This one gets a spot just for the "lulz." It's not the most imaginative or difficult boss battle, but GLaDOS commenting on my every action made me bust out laughing more times than I can remember. Nothing, and I do mean nothing in any other boss battle can compare to a murderous computer taunting you like a five year old as you desperately struggle to survive ("If you love that thing so much, why don't you marry it?!?"). Portal is gaming excellence from start to finish, but the final boss battle and the end credits are what seal the deal.
I could have picked from a long list of epic battles created by Team Ninja, because boobie-jiggle physics aside, Team Ninja is notorious for making amazing and difficult bosses that are almost always a blast to fight. Sure, sometimes they make mistakes (like Alpha in Dead or Alive 4), but when they really exert themselves, Team Ninja creates magic. Anybody remember Alma in Ninja Gaiden? I'm sure you still carry the psychological scars from that battle. Still, my choice ultimately goes to Phantoon, the secret boss in Metroid Other: M. Whenever you encounter a "secret boss" of any kind, you can be sure of two things: it's going to be harder than the regular final boss and it's going to be an exercise in frustrating fun. Phantoon fits those two requirements perfectly: you have to use almost everything you learn in Other M just to be able to survive. Good luck beating this boss without dodging! Oh, what's that? Your normal weapons barely tickle it? Good luck dodging its attacks and being skilled enough to stop and fire a missile at its face. Wait, dodging over a dozen energy balls coming to kill you isn't enough? Well we've decided to make the floor explosive from time to time, and have a random, brutally fast laser cut you in half. But just for your pleasure, we'll also throw in tentacle attacks: prepare to have your helmet smacked off of your face when you least expect it. Oh, and don't forget the floating hands that try to punch you out of the window!
I thought all the bosses in Other M were fantastic, with a especial nod to Ridley, who has a nasty habit of grabbing Samus, smashing her into a wall, running her face across it, then firing a ball of destruction right up her nostrils. But I expected Ridley to be a great battle, so it delivered but not surpassed. Phantoon on the other hand...
Who would have thought that a rhyming witch could be such a complete and total cunt face? Seriously, while she kidnaps your sister and then laughs about it while reciting snide poems about how much you suck, you would never expect her to be so positively evil. But she is. One of the main complaints against Banjo-Kazooie was the absence of boss fights, and initially I felt the same way. But after battling Gruntilda, I was glad that bosses were almost non-existent in the game. Seriously, she's almost fuckin' impossible. The battle requires you to multitask, dodging her frenzied attacks, and she has different forms, each more dastardly than the last. Oh, I dodged her broom of doom as she tried to run me over? I'm so good at this. Wait, is she...is she...firing un-dodgable balls of green fire at my face? HOLY SHIT! She's going insane! Gruntilda is one of the most fun, frustratingly difficult boss battles I've ever had to fight, and I adore it. Extra brownie points because though Banjo and Kazooie have a ridiculous number of moves, the battle against Gruntilda actually requires to use every last one of them.
This game is pretty much all boss battles, but also so much more than that. Every boss was its own level; imaginative levels at that. It's really hard to choose a favorite Colossus from this game, but I ultimately give the nod to the fifth Colossus. The first time it swoops at you and you jump on its wing, it's fuckin' magical! You get this sense of urgency and a little bit of fear as it flies around above the lake and tries desperately to shake you off. It's hard to focus on the fighting when you're so enthralled, but at last the monster falls. While killing all the Colossi in the game always ended spectacularly, this one in particular is amazing. The way the bird falls out of the sky is incredible.
This is by far my favorite boss battle in any video game. It's the definition of "epic," and the way the battle ends will always be unforgettable to me. I remember that the first time I played Shenmue II I was quickly falling in love with the game, but it was this battle that sealed the deal for me. It takes place on a rooftop, all the while the main villain sits and watches you from the safe distance of his helicopter, gauging how much of a threat you might be. Previously unimportant to him, you are now a huge bleep in the main villain's radar. Not only does he now know that you're mercilessly coming after him, but that you're becoming strong and incredibly capable, and that you may in fact represent a danger to him and his plans. It's also incredibly cinematic, adding to the feel of old Kung Fu films that Shenmue was obviously going after.
- Kharlo -
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