If you click on his author name, it'll link you to all of the pieces he has written for them thus far. I hope you join me in saying: Congratulations! He's an amazing person and very much deserves this opportunity.
Ah, video game weapons! They exist even in the mildest, family friendly titles. They can range from incredible to absolutely bizarre. See, that's the thing about video game weapons: they can be anything. Play a JRPG and you'll find yourself amused at characters who fight with umbrellas, yo-yos, giant pencils, bycicles, small children, etc. This post is to commemorate what I feel are the five coolest weapons in video game history.
5. Valentine (Soul Calibur Series) -
Okay, Soul Calibur has a lot of neat weapons, like Tira's giant hula hoop of death or Setsuka's umbrella/short katana combination. But none of them can compare to Ivy's sword, Valentine. Valentine is a magical sentient sword created by Isabella Valentine when she sought to destroy Soul Edge, and that means it can react out of its own accord to protect its owner (it's perfectly loyal to Ivy). But it doesn't stop there, because as cool as the idea seems, it's the actual design of the weapon that sets it apart; Valentine has the ability to switch between being a regular sword and a segmented sword/whip hybrid of unimaginable power. It gives Ivy an insane amount of range, vertically and horizontally, which is crucial when playing a fighting game like Soul Calibur where the stages are the size of a pinhead and you can win fairly by "Ring Out." The sword has many uses on top of that and it's versatile when it comes to your options: it can be used to cut, smack, whip, and even grab opponents from a distance. It also sort of lends Ivy a whole dominatrix dimension when she wraps Valentine around an enemy's neck, puts him or her on all fours, and pulls on the sword like it was a leash. Both the sword and its owner are kind of...intense...
Video games are art. Deal with it, Roger Ebert. But the thing about video games is that they take enormous teams to create and they require more than just looks: the gameplay, the graphics, the art, the music, etc. all must coordinate. This is why, for the most part, many developers find it easier to create games that are graphically similar to whatever else the rest of the industry is offering. It's simpler to just create a safe product. That is the reason so many games today are boring shades of brown, poo, and poo brown (I'm looking at you Gears of War!). It's an easy sell. But once in a while developers go out of their way to experiment with the art design of their games and the result is almost always magical. This article is dedicated to the five most aesthetically interesting/pleasing video games of all time.
5. Prince of Persia (Various Platforms) -
Prince of Persia is the redheaded step child of the PoP franchise, because nobody seems to want it and nobody seems to know what to make of it. It's painfully easy: you cannot die. I mean that literally. You fall down? Elika will save you. A boss takes you out? The battle restarts immediately. You don't even have to hit the ground. But what Ubisoft's line of thinking was with this new Prince of Persia actually becomes obvious as you play through the game more and more: it's all about flow. Moving quickly and expertly through the game's world. In order to make that a compelling prospect Ubisoft was left with an astronomical task: to create a gaming world so beautiful that gamers wouldn't be apprehensive about exploring it. They succeeded.
These are the couples that have been fueling the slash fiction on hundreds of thousands of girls for decades now, and how could they not? See, in plenty of cases it's just a fantasy (like when they slash Harry and Draco together), but in some cases...well, it's kind of warranted since the two people involved are five seconds away from buttsecks.
This article is about the top five ambiguously gay duos in gaming: hope you enjoy it!
5. Male Commander Shepard and Kaiden Alenko (Mass Effect) -
Here's the thing: Kaiden was originally written to be a romance option for both the female and the male Commander Shepard. For supposed reasons of time constraints and of "cannon male Shepard being heterosexual," or some other B.S. Bioware actually cut Kaiden as a male!Shepard romance option before the game released. It wasn't until some ingenious fans modded the first game that we, the gamers, realized just how much of the Kaiden/male!Shepard relationship was done: there were lines and lines of dialogue and even voice acting for almost all of these dialogue options.
With E3 just finishing, I thought it would be a good time to post a top five that focuses on developers. Specifically, the best five developers/development houses of all time. I know there will be A LOT of disagreement with this list, as many people have their own personal ideas of what makes a developer good, so don't take it too seriously! It's meant to be mostly about my own personal opinion (and please, if you get a chance, post YOUR top five developers in the comments section below):
5. Valve Software -
I really don't care for Half-Life as a series. I think I'm about the only person on the face of the planet that doesn't, so you might think it's surprising that Valve is on this list. But the truth is that Valve deserves a spot for making some pretty fantastic games and revolutionizing gaming in a lot of ways. Primarily for making amazing games like Portal, Portal 2, Left 4 Dead, Left 4 Dead 2, Team Fortress, Team Fortress 2, etc.
This week's is more of a catch-up review for the post I missed reviewing last week. I did have a pretty good time in Texas and ate some amazing steak. Mmm... I will be dreaming about that steak for months.
Before I get to the recap, I just want to share a trailer I just saw after the break! Yep, it's that soon today. : )
Long time no see. We seem to have taken a little break last week but we're back and kickin' now! I'll actually be leaving my desert and be wandering around somewhere in the middle of Texas by the time this post goes live. It's my first road trip in several years and actually should be enjoyable! Very exciting.
I think one of the most important events was the PlayStation Network (PSN) has more or less gone live again. Because of a near-month of shafting its customers, they wanted to offer a Welcome Back package (because, you know, you were the one to abandon them), however the only way to obtain two of the five offered games was to download them from the shop. Which was still down. >_> WTG (way to go) guys.
Um... other than that, I do believe that it has been mostly quiet. This is probably because convention season is right around the corner. I have yet to go to my first con (T_T) but I hope to someday soon! I'm totally ridiculous enough to go in a homemade costume designed to be nothing in particular. Info about upcoming cons are after the break!
I already did awful sidekicks: now it's time to pay homage to the sidekicks that actually make games more entertaining/playable because they're made of absolute WIN! Here goes:
5. Max from Various Sam & Max Titles -
I absolutely love point-and-click adventures. I understand why some people don't: it's methodical gameplay, with a very slow pace, and a lot of problem solving required. Even with all my love for the genre, sometimes I too want to just have mindless video gaming fun. But it still remains one of my favorite types of games, and of point-and-click adventures my favorite has always been Monkey Island, followed closely by Sam & Max. Both series are humorous, but their humor comes in different forms: Monkey Island is dorky, nerdy humor at its best. Sam & Max is a mix of unlikely scenarios coupled with sharp writing and rapier wit from the its characters. Nobody exemplifies this more than Max.
Ah, the unavoidable sidekicks in video games. Sometimes, they rock (more on that in another article), and sometimes they stain games like explosive diarrhea to a pair of white underpants. So here is the list of the five most God awful video game sidekicks of all times! Enjoy (or cringe; either or is an acceptable reaction)!
5. Navi from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time -
"HEY! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! LISTEN!" Those words are so famous at this point that gamers have been using them as ringtones on their smartphones. Navi is not a bad sidekick, per se, she's just a painfully obnoxious one. Every time she talked I would secretly hope that Link would turn to her and say:
Don't cringe just yet! I know "low budget games" usually translates to "shovelware" (about 90% of the Wii's library), or bullshit casual games that tend to suck horribly. But the new style of game distribution online and in episodic content allows developers to create less expensive games and take bigger risks with their ideas. This is why sometimes, as much as I may love my Mass Effects, and my Bioshocks, and my countless other multi-million dollar budget titles, I still always look into the low-budget/indie gaming scene to find gems. Here are the best five low-budget games I've come across so far:
5. Costume Quest -
Tim Schafer. That's all you need to know. Okay, fine! Since you're not going to be convinced because you're evil like that, let me tell you about this one: it's an old-school styled RPG based around Halloween, which we all know is factually the coolest holiday ever. Kids get to dress up as anything cool they want, and the adults get to dress up like sluts. Everybody's happy! But that's not the point here: your sister (or brother, if you play as the female protagonist) is kidnapped by monsters during your night of Trick of Treating, and your job is to get him/her back safely in one piece. Along the way you meet a slew of other kids who are awesome, and together you fight evil to make things right. The coolest part? You battle in an alternate dimension where your real world costume translates to a badass form: dressed as a robot? You'll become a huge Transformer-like hero. Dressed as a knight? That applies too. There is even a costume that lets you become the Statue-of-mother-fuckin'-Liberty! You can also choose which costumes to wear and what costumes to give the other kids in your party. Even though the battle system is a little repetitive, the game just oozes charm it never stops being fun.
Also known as: "WTF, Japan?!?" This list is here to commemorate the five most bizarre video games ever made. I would say more, but really, I don't want to take away even a little bit of your mental acuity for this one: you're gonna' need all of it so that your head doesn't implode.
5. N.U.D.E.@ Natural Ultimate Digital Experiment (Xbox) -
Where do I start with this one? Before the Xbox released and took the world by storm (thanks to Halo: Combat Evolved), everyone pretty much considered the console dead on arrival. Microsoft struggled to gain Japanese support for their overweight machine (it's a glandular problem, I swear!). Sure, the Xbox would eventually gain some pretty awesome support from both SEGA and Tecmo, with Capcom, Konami, and Namco lending a hand here and there. But for every one of the good games, there was a terrible counterpart, and in some cases, a very bizarre one.
It's been a while since I have had the chance to post new articles. I've been terribly busy, but I will continue to work on the blog whenever I can. Anyway, I realized about a week ago that this generation is awesome and only getting better, so I thought it'd pay a nice ode to amazing games this generation that didn't make the cut on the first list of "best games." Hope you enjoy it!
5. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption -
Here's the thing about me and the Prime series: the Prime series is a harsh, harsh mistress. At times it's cold and dead on the inside, and at others, it delivers above and beyond what I wanted. I find myself absolutely hating Metroid Prime, and though Echoes is an improvement over the first, I still find it horribly boring. I've already discussed this subject endlessly; Prime and Prime 2: Echoes are some of the most overrated games of all time (especially Prime).
There are plenty of things happening nowadays so let's get to it! Cinco de Mayo yesterday and I hope you're recovering well if you were out celebrating last night. However, the day before was Star Wars Day when we could happily run around telling everyone we met: "May the Fourth be with you!" and cheekily grin as the phrase turns around and around in their heads.
As much as I wanted to run around having a light saber fight, I was pretty sure that my workplace would not have appreciated me bribing the students to come to the Dark Side because I had a plate of cookies. Meh, those kids ingest too much sugar anyways. *pouts*
I also wanted to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by playing some Viva Piñata, giving a few Tafflys French-sounding names, give all of my garden piñatas Hispanic names, and then go to town beating those bugs with my shovel!
EVIL! EVIL I SAY! Without evil, there can be no good...and no fun! What would be the point of playing an RPG if impending doom wasn't hovering above the main character's head (and I mean that literally at times)? This one is a shout out to the most dastardly, deadly, and outright awesome villains in video game history!
5. The Great Mighty Poo from Conker's Bad Fur Day -
He's a giant, opera singing turd with digested corn for teeth. Need I say more? But just in case you want me to: he makes it to the list for being ingenious and hilarious in more ways than you could imagine. While Playstation fans were playing Final Fantasy and creaming themselves over an emo pretty boy, Nintendo fans were having a blast throwing toilet paper into The Great Mighty Poo's mouth. Let's cut the shit (geddit? Cut the shit? Har, har, har!): The Great Mighty Poo could make Sephiroth into his bitch if he wanted to! But he wouldn't actually do it...because deep down, at his hard, turdy core, all The Great Mighty Poo wants is to be recognized for his insanely powerful voice, and that's not really too much to ask is it?
Well, this has been quite the week for the consoles, hm? I'm going to be a little lazy today and not attach links where I probably should. You're just going to have to take my word for it and the Google/ Bing it your own friggin' self. :D
My little freak out for this week? The fact that next year will see the birth of the successor to the...
A silly one: the top five lessons I've learned from video games!
5. Heal Death at the Local Inn -
Okay, it's a little exaggerated, but there is some truth to this. The more stress you have the weaker your immune system becomes. Sometimes, rest is the best medicine. And you thought staying at the inn was just to boost the in-game economy!
Ah, video game couples! Like Hollywood couples but not entirely useless! Who gives a fuck about Brangelina when there's Meach? This top five is about my favorite couples in video game history: whether because their romances were truly touching or unintentionally funny, they all deserve a spot...
5. Mario and Peach -
This one has to make the list; not by default, but because it deserves it. You might think that this pairing is shallow and you'd be completely right. Of course nobody is expecting depth from a Super Mario story! Why would they? It's the gameplay that sells Mario titles (as it should be). But how many times has Mario saved Peach from doom even though we all know she doesn't put out for him? Yeah, this pairing has fueled some of the best video games ever made. See, you might argue that Super Mario is a game about stomping mushrooms and ridding the universe of some bad guy who has nothing better to do than try to outdo Godzilla as Japan's most well known anthropomorphic lizard...turtle...erm...thing... <_<
A short, but good one: my top five songs in video games up to now. Believe me, it was hard choosing just five considering just how good gaming music is. Seriously, the official soundtrack for Jet Set Radio Future is better than 99% of everything playing on American radio today. But I digress! Let's talk favorite video game songs...
5. "Kingdom of Ixa'Taka" from Skies of Arcadia -
The entire soundtrack from Skies of Arcadia is fantastic, but if I had to pick one song from such long list, the theme to Ixa'Taka would definitely be it. I'm a huge fan of Mesoamerica; that's why my major is anthropology, so this theme is like a dream come true for me. Just like the highest rated comment on that video states, I used to linger in this area of the game for hours just to listen to the song. This song is fun, adventurous, mysterious, and fascinating all at once: it's a perfect example of the entire theme and style of Skies of Arcadia condensed to a single piece of music.
Something I think developers don't get is that the enjoyment of video games comes not just from the challenges and the fun, but also from entering a different world that could not otherwise be possible in real life. One thing that really kills games for me, for example, is backtracking: needless backtracking means less variety, less of a world to explore, less to get lost in. It's one the many reason why games like Metroid Prime, a first person adventure, seems lacking to me. So this article is to discuss good, well made, beautifully detailed worlds that create the necessary atmosphere to allow a player to walk into something completely different and all the while exciting.
Hope you enjoy!
5. The Old West from Red Dead Redemption -
I hate Rockstar. I will admit it right here and right now. I hate them because Grand Theft Auto is one of the most overrated P.o.S. game series ever created, and frankly only sold because of a ridiculous amount of violence. But for what it's worth, if it hadn't existed, I might have never gotten the chance to experience Red Dead Redemption. RDR is a huge leap forward for the company, because it implements things that should have been part of their work for years. But most importantly, it captures an amazing atmosphere, not holding back on the difficulties, size, and beauty of the Wild Wild West. It's an experience like no other in gaming, and that's what makes it so amazing. Using the sandbox style to do a mafia theme is not awful, but unimaginative. Using it to recreate the entire Old West (and parts of Mexico) is beyond fuckin' cool.
A very personal top five (as will my next article be); more or less, these are my top five most anticipated games currently on the release horizon.
Hope you like!
5. Deus Ex Human Revolution -
Time to admit something: I have never played the original Deus Ex and I never played Invisible War either. I know, I know: I bow my head down in shame at this fact. But the truth is that I have never been much of a PC gamer; unfortunately, I grew up a bit poor so I didn't really have funds to afford a really good gaming PC. It hasn't been until lately, thanks to a decent laptop and a boyfriend who is a PC-building-genius that I've been able to really get into it. I feel like I sort of missed out on a lot of really great games because of it, and unfortunately, the original Deus Ex is part of that list. There's very few older PC games that I can go back to today (like Grim Fandago). There was, of course, Invisible War, which was on the original Xbox, but I heard pretty lackluster stories about it and I decided to save my money for other games instead. So that's my life story! Back on topic: as soon as I heard that there was going to be a new Deus Ex I decided to keep up with it. I watched the gameplay trailer recently and it really got me.
You know that point when your body hates you so much for something you did to it that you think you're that much closer to death? Yeah, that's me right now but how have you been?
Spring and its pollen is in the air, do you feel it? Finals are ruining the minds of young people, kids are on spring break, and we shall be celebrating one of the most colorful undead holidays of the year: Zombie Jesus Day! Do you have any plans to sneak out and find all the hidden candy at the parks to overeat and spew out just as many colors? Oh. Well then, me neither. >_> ... <_<
Sequels. That's pretty much what a lot of developers in the gaming industry feed from, and can you really blame them? If I made millions of dollars from a game and had a clamoring fanbase begging me to take its money, I'm sure I'd happily oblige too. The problem is that sequels can pretty much go either way: they can be better than the original games or much, much worse. But what about those sequels that are legitimately good yet get a bad reputation? This blog entry is to discuss these games: the most underrated sequels of all time.
Here I go!
5. Final Fantasy Tactics Advance -
This is one is definitely an underrated sequel-ish. It's kind of hard to classify this one, which is why it's not higher on the list, but it still deserves a spot. As a standalone game it's actually excellent, with only minor gripes here and there. Sure, the story won't win any accolades and the characters are very light in comparison to what Final Fantasy has become...but it works. Tactics Advance is actually a lot of fun and it's very well designed. The class system is excellent, often allowing for a mind boggling amount of customization of skills. The strategy involved in it is great and deep, and the overall package is just beautifully polished. It's a bit of an underrated gem for the Gameboy Advance, Final Fantasy Tactics name brand aside, often eclipsed by the fame of other excellent GBA games (like Metroid Fusion and Golden Sun). But don't let that fool you into thinking that it's anything if not excellent. If you are at all into strategy games, give this one a try; even by today's standards, its colorful graphics and art design still hold up really well and the gameplay doesn't disappoint.
I've already done this one, but as I wrote the original list, about a million more overrated games came to mind. I figured it was worth a shot, so prepare to NERDRAGE as I go down my list of most overrated games ever for the second time (especially if you're a Playstation fan).
5. Uncharted: Drake's Fortune -
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune has to be the most visually stunning game I have yet played. Everything about its presentation is flawless, from the animation of characters to the cinematic story telling. But that is also the reason why it makes it to this list. Take a moment and strip all the glitter off of Uncharted, and not just the first game, but the entire series; there isn't much left. The first Uncharted is a wildly overrated game that has, in a sense, become the new Final Fantasy VII. The graphics are so impressive that reviewers and gamers sometimes forget that the core gameplay is bland and even downright bad at times. Seriously, try platforming and watch Nathan jump from one platform to the next: the animations are all horribly canned and he basically auto-jumps, going as far as magically turning in mid-air to make absolutely sure you don't fail. It's painfully automatic. The battle system is improved in the second game, but it's still not quite on the level of some of the best over-the-shoulder shooting this generation has seen (Mass Effect 2 and Gears of War come to mind). But the improvements only help to show the problems of the original, because the shooting system in Uncharted: Drake's Fortune is just wonky in general and more loose than a Lohan vagina.
It's pretty easy to think of influential video games; most of the list would be composed of much older, 2D games that paved the way for the future. I figured that since we all know what those games are it would be more interesting to do a top five about the most influential games of modern times. So here goes nothing.
5. Resident Evil 4 (Various Platforms) -
This one makes the list without breaking a sweat. As much as I personally dislike it (because I'm old enough to remember the original Resident Evil games), I won't deny its quality and innovation. Capcom did something pretty incredible with Resident Evil 4 and it becomes more obvious with the passing years: the controller set-up and over-the-shoulder shooting has basically been ripped verbatim from this game for several of today's best. Uncharted, Gears of War, Dead Space, and even my beloved Mass Effect owe a great debt to Capcom's work with this one. It may not be my type of game, but you should give it a try anyway, at least to better understand how the gaming industry got a little bit further to where it is now.
Let's face it: nothing's cooler than fighting an epic, well designed boss in a video game. That's sort of what we, as gamers, live for. The process of reaching a level and fighting an enormous boss before you can progress is so well ingrained in our brains that we even treat real life problems like we treat game bosses: big, difficult, but ultimately just another obstacle and a challenge to grow. Yet, there are those other bosses...you know which ones I'm talking about...the other kind. The kind that can ruin video game controllers and your blood pressure, the kind that can almost destroy an otherwise awesome gaming experience. This top five is dedicated to them: the worst bosses in video gaming history...
5. Bowser from Super Mario Sunshine -
I adore Super Mario Sunshine, I really do. It's my favorite 3D Mario, and I know that that happens to be a very lonely position to be in. But even with my love for this game, there is no excuse for that lackluster final battle. This boss makes the list simply because you can beat it in your sleep. It's so ridiculously easy that when he died the first time, I honestly thought I was being trolled and that the real final boss would appear suddenly to challenge me. But no.
I hope you've had a good week. Care for a back rub? If so, sorry but that's kind of creepy. Even though I have been known to give strangers massages and I am good at it. At least, I think I am since there's some reputation floating around that I am. *ahem*
In the age and the common ridicule of online dating, I want to ask a question: How many times have to flirted online? Something as simple as a ; ) or one too many lol's, a screen name or friend request later, and you have a genuine stalker. I call bullshit if I'm the only one.
This new generation is really fantastic so I had a lot of trouble making choices for this list. There is a myriad of games that didn't make the cut but which I absolutely love. Still, after much thought, I feel that these are the definitely the best of the best...
5. Metroid: Other M -
Okay, okay! You get the picture: I love this game! I've loved it since the moment I first popped the disc into my Wii and played it straight through. I've discussed this one plenty, but I feel there is still much left to say. The amount of detail in this game is staggering and the Team Ninja signature is there, all the while somehow managing to keep a fantastic Metroid feel overall. The battling itself is spectacular with a brilliant dodging system that leaves me wondering why no one else ever thought of it before. More or less, you dodge simply by pressing the D-Pad in a direction away from where the attack is coming, and the real challenge to it comes from your timing more than anything else. Time your dodge right with another quick button press and the game rewards you with a full charge for your cannon that you can fire right away for devastating effect against even larger enemies. It all works beautifully and seamlessly, and it makes dodging systems like the one in God of War and its many clones seem more clunky than they already are.
I made a post about my top five disappointments, so I think this one is a fun one to have as well. I'll be naming my top five surprises: meaning, games that I expected very little of (or nothing at all) which ultimately turned out to be fantastic. Personally, I am focusing on games this generation because it's easier.
5. Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds -
I haven't cared about fighting games in a long, long time. I really hadn't dedicated any time to the genre since Virtua Fighter 4: Evolution came out. Only briefly did I play some Tekken 5 and Soul Calibur 4, and while T5 is excellent, SC IV just seems awful to me. I also have never cared for 2D fighters outside of Mortal Kombat and Guilty Gear, so the likelihood that a fighter would please me so much in this day and age was already pretty unlikely, but a 2D fighter no less? Yeah, I love MvC 3. I don't care how many people hate on this game: I have fun playing it, a concept that used to escape me when I was younger and focused more on learning the engine of each fighter I played. Mind you, that can be fun too, but I don't think I had quite as much fun then as I am having now with this game. I guess that somewhere along the way I stopped giving a sh!t about tournament and super competitive play. MvC 3 has been a blast for me and regardless of its flaws, it's made me enjoy fighting games again, which is quite a feat. I definitely did not expect that at all.
I'll admit that it took me a long, long time to warm up to the Wii. Since the console released I mostly saw it as a gimmicky product, like the 2000's version of the Thighmaster. I basically ignored it until last year when Nintendo finally delivered; several years later than I had hoped, but at least it balanced out the suck of Super Mario Wii. I actually had a little bit of trouble making this list because I had to cut out some seriously good games, but I think overall it shows that the Wii has matured into a pretty great gaming platform. I don't even hate motion controls as much as I used to thanks to the games in the following list...
5. Donkey Kong Country Returns -
It's neither as good nor as difficult as the original 3, but it's still a wonderful addition to the series. It's one of the few recent revivals I've seen Nintendo do properly, and it's definitely leagues better than that atrocious Super Mario Wii. The multiplayer works well, the bosses are cleverly designed, the art and graphics are colorful, and the levels are really well made. It's a little soulless at times, but it feels very polished. There's no doubt that this game is the most old school styled fun you'll find in this day and age. Definitely worthy of being on this list.
I've talked about the top five remakes of all time, but there are certain games that have been left out in the cold. In this post I discuss what I feel are the games most deserving of getting a next-generation upgrade.
5. Silent Hill -
Technically, this game actually benefited from being on poor hardware. The inability to render things far away forced Konami to create the fog effect that would later become the signature of the series. You may not think that fog could have such a large effect on a game, but Silent Hill is pure survival-horror and the inability to see two feet away from you makes the game downright unnerving. Unfortunately, the rest of the game isn't up to snuff. Silent Hill falls victim to the fact that it's a first generation 3D game, so the lack of hardware power and skills with such new concept at the time of development leaves the game kind of unplayable today. The character models, including the enemies, are all horribly pixelated, turning the game into a bit of an eyesore. The same is true of the original Resident Evil, which is why it got a huge upgrade to great success and the great rejoicing of fans everywhere. Silent Hill deserves a remake too, not the least because it's a better game than Resident Evil, with a better story and more interesting ideas. What it lacks is the execution and it would be nice to see Silent Hill brought up to speed. Considering the absolute mess the series has become post-Silent Hill 3, a remake of the original would go a long way toward healing the wounds Konami left Silent Hill fans with their mismanagement of the license.
I've already covered a few really amazing remakes by fans in another article I posted, so I figured it would only be fair to post the greatest remakes by actual developers. Sometimes, remakes turn out to be absolute turds (I'm looking at you, Twin Snakes!), but at times we got some true gems. These five are the best of the best remakes in gaming...
5. Perfect Dark (Xbox LIVE Arcade) -
This one isn't a complete remake, per se, but it makes to the list for a few reasons. The first being that the game had a complete retexturing of all the environments and models, the second being that it goes for pretty cheap on XBLA, and the third being that the game includes a robust multiplayer mode that brings back all the fun of the original. Combined together, it's hard to argue against Perfect Dark XBLA being a wonderful, wonderful deal for gamers everywhere. Aside from those aforementioned things, there was also a vast improvement in the way the game runs. Unfortunately, as brilliant as Perfect Dark was when it first released, the Nintendo 64 had its limits. The original Perfect Dark is riddled with slowdown here in there, some not so bad and others that slow to an unbearable crawl. This new version? Smooth 60fps, the way it was meant to be played. The controls have been edited too, so you can play the game with several styles: old school Perfect Dark style, Halo style, or Call of Duty style.
Ah, the Dreamcast! The last bastion of SEGA goodness before the company went to complete and utter shit. You will always hear about SEGA's little white console no matter how many years pass; from the fans who salivate just at the thought of it to the those feel that it's the most overrated platform of all time, you just can't escape it. Personally? I tend to agree with the fans. To me, the Dreamcast is and always will be the best SEGA console and one of the best consoles of all time, rivaled only by the Nintendo 64. But I digress! This blog is to discuss what I personally feel are the top five games from the Dreamcast's painfully short lifespan.
5. Jet Grind Radio -
The first game to ever use cel-shaded graphics. Sure, today you see plenty of games with cel-shading, so it's become sort of commonplace. From Zelda to Zack and Wiki, cel-shading has truly expanded in the gaming industry. But back then? It was unheard of. Imagine how we felt when the game was first shown and then released: to us, it wasn't merely a game, it was art. But looking beautiful is not really enough to justify a game if the gameplay is wonky (I'm looking at you, Uncharted!). Luckily for us, SEGA more than delivered with Jet Grind Radio. A bit of Tony Hawk, a dash of Shenmue's free-roaming, and a lot of SEGA quirkiness makes Jet Grind Radio one of the greatest Dreamcast games of all time, and one of the greatest games overall.
This. Boy. What on Azeroth are you doing to me with all of these posts? I hope you all have enjoyed reading all of this week's posts like I have. Before I go into my responsive reviews of what Kharlo's been talking about, here's a question:
Do you play any of Zynga's games on Facebook or Myspace (My what? Yeah, humor my attempt at being virtually PC)? Do I really need to go through the list of games they've put out because you many or may not have paid any attention to who's to blame when your pixels don't load? ... Please ignore how vaguely dirty that sounded and jump with me.
There's a million ways to ruin a game; just ask Sonic Team, they're experts on the subject. But there are chiefly five ways in which a gaming experience can be absolutely ruined, so be ready to cringe because I'm getting down and dirty here with the top five things that have killed games for me...and probably have for you as well...
5. Save Points -
Okay, I understand how this one came about: when the gaming gods were creating the gaming world they realized they had a massive problem bigger than teaching a bunch of apes the difference between "good" and "evil" and what fruit had too many carbohydrates (answer: NOT the gay one). Technological limitations did not often allow for a proper way to save progress in a game. In fact, as strange as this may seem to some of you young hooligans today with your super advanced Walkmans and your Goddamned Power Rangers, there was a time when video games didn't have a save feature at all and gamers had to walk fifteen miles in the snow with shoes made out of tennis rackets just to be able to buy their games from stores. But I digress! Some of the more old school games simply provided you with a code every time you achieved something, like beating a level, and you would have to manually enter it each time you reloaded the game - basically the solution was to allow the player to "override the code" and skip on ahead. The idea of "saving anywhere" for console gaming is relatively new. In fact, saving anywhere was a feature that was exclusive to the PC for a very, very long time. It wasn't until the original Xbox with its (then) massive HDD storage space that developers on the console front really started to push for a save anywhere feature so that we would never have to deal with archaic save points ever again. So why in the hell are we still using save points in this day and age? Save points are a pretty easy way to ruin a gaming experience that could have otherwise been great.
It was bound to happen. At one point or another I was bound to make something Final Fantasy related, and really with how long the series has been running and how successful it has been, this shouldn't come as a surprise. What might come as a surprise is that I have actually never played any of the 2D Final Fantasy games. That's right. Not a single one. While other kids were playing Final Fantasy I was trying to beat Mike Tyson in Punch-Out (and my age begins to show in three...two...). So this post is about my top five modern Final Fantasy games from the core series.
Let's get this rollin'!
5. Final Fantasy VIII -
Yeah, it's broken as sh!t. Honestly, the battle system is a laugh and a half in the challenge department. My boyfriend and I were playing it again the other day and we couldn't believe how broken it was: we could just summon and draw, and we would pretty much obliterate anything on the field. But for what it's worth, the game gives you a ton of freedom. The way the battle system works lets you change an insane amount of options and tailor things to your liking, and I like that you can equip ("junction") summons to any character your want (an ingenious idea). It's a complex, deep, and beautifully made battle system that is unfortunately very unbalanced. Also liked the story a lot, and the art is far superior to VII in every aspect imaginable. Better characters too, and a more interesting setting. Honestly, I don't understand how VII got so much praise but VIII got so much flack.
A more personal blog entry than usual: my five favorite Pokemon of all time. I don't mean the games, I mean the monsters!
Here I go!
5. Chandelure -
The Luring Pokemon
The highest Special Attack stats of all non-legendary Pokemon? Yes, please, and thank you! Chandelure is the definition of a "glass cannon": really high damage output and really poor defense (think: Pheonix in Marvel vs. Capcom 3). Raising it is kind of a bitch and a half since it's easy for it to K.O. in one or two hits, but the rewards are great. It also happens to looking fuckin' cool and be a ghost/fire type.
Here's a, hopefully, interesting one: games that are coming out this year that might just be better than the stuff we expect to rock our socks. Sure, we're all eagerly awaiting Mass Effect 3 (I know I am!), Uncharted 3, inFamous 2, etc. But, what about those games that nobody is really sure about?
These are the top five wildcards of 2011!
5. I am Alive -
A game about survival that doesn't involve zombies? What the sh!t?!?! That's right, this one is about survival and it involves none of the typical tropes of post-apocalyptic fiction. Basically you are a character living in Chicago when a huge earthquake hits and turns the entire city upside down, splitting Chicago from the mainland. All through this ordeal the main character is billed with staying alive and rescuing his girlfriend, whose status is unknown. If your head just blared like a siren and sent out a memo with "Cloverfield" stamped all over it, then you're not alone. That's pretty much it: I am Alive is Cloverfield minus the monster and plus the very real situations (like fighting for clean drinking water).
I write about video games because I'm a fan, and each fan has a way to express his or her love for the medium. I'm not musically talented, I can't program to save my life, and I couldn't draw my way out of a paper bag, so writing is all I'm left with. Other fans, however, have incredible talent and manage to create pieces of video gaming love that are absolutely mind blowing. This blog entry is to talk about the coolest fan made work based on established video games...
Here I go!
5. Graal Online -
I honestly have no idea how many people know this game even existed, but when I was younger this was my MMORPG of choice. It was free to play and included all the cool things you see in MMORPGS today (and then some). You would basically just go around doing whatever you wanted, from sitting in a cafe and chatting with people to doing quests all over the map. Me, personally? I spent a lot of my time using the really cool level building tool set the game came with. I remember creating entire cities just for kicks and giggles.
Another top five in one day? Sure, why not! This one is about my top five boss fights in any video game.
I'll start...
Here I go!
5. GLaDOS from Portal -
This one gets a spot just for the "lulz." It's not the most imaginative or difficult boss battle, but GLaDOS commenting on my every action made me bust out laughing more times than I can remember. Nothing, and I do mean nothing in any other boss battle can compare to a murderous computer taunting you like a five year old as you desperately struggle to survive ("If you love that thing so much, why don't you marry it?!?"). Portal is gaming excellence from start to finish, but the final boss battle and the end credits are what seal the deal.
A new and very personal Top Five. Here I will discuss the five games that have disappointed me the most. Be ready for the biggest wall-o-text you've ever read online!
Here I go!
5. Pokemon Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald -
Oh boy, where do I start with this one? I know these games have A LOT of supporters and fans, so I'm ready to have my head chopped off for my comments, but I legitimately think that Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald just absolutely suck. Here's the thing: Blue, Red, and Yellow were the originals and I love them for what they are. They're dated by today's standards, but back then they were pretty incredible. I enjoyed Silver, Gold, and Crystal the most out of the whole series because I felt they had immense upgrades over the original: a day and night system with different Pokemon for each time (I guess you could say that the hours I spent secretly staying up to catch a Hoothoot were quite...a hoot! YEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!), the ability to breed Pokemon, the introduction of two new types (including my absolute favorite: steel), shiny Pokemon, the PokeGear, berries, and a lot more. To this day, Silver, Gold, and Crystal remain my absolute favorites (that includes the highly superior SoulSilver and HeartGold remakes).
A new Top Five! This time I will discuss what I personally feel are the top five video game series of all time!
Here I go!
5. Monkey Island (LucastArts and Telltale Games) -
Okay, okay, you got me! I talk about this one a lot. But if you have ever played a Monkey Island game then it should be no secret why: Monkey Island has always been a mix of excellent puzzles, fantastic humor, brilliant music, and just plain fun gameplay. Monkey Island is a series that anyone can get into but that will challenge the player at all turns. It's a thing of beauty when a game can do that, it truly is, and Monkey Island does that through the majority of its games. Sure it's not perfect, but the first two Monkey Island games are by far some of the greatest point-and-click adventure games of all time and since taking over, Telltalle games has done a pretty fantastic job at keeping the series alive.
Who am I? All you need to know is that I'm Kharlo's little Asian (straight) lady friend who enjoys casual video gaming, am a contributing blogger here, and go by Miss Sak. :D I use emoticons and "lol" pretty often, but that's who I am IRL and I don't see a good reason to change that.
My job here is to mix things up a bit, give my own opinion, and have a good time in good company.
I'll start responding to some of Kharlo's posts this week after the jump.
Okay so one of my last ones was about the hottest male characters in video games. This one? Well I knew I wanted a counter-part post but seeing as how I'm not really attracted to women, the "hottest" theme just wasn't going to cut it. More importantly, badass male characters exist in spades, while females are mostly poorly portrayed in the game industry. So instead I'm opting for a "most amazing females" theme full of chicks who kick ass and take names.
Here I go!
5. Lady Sylvanas Windrunner from Warcraft/World of Warcraft -
Brilliant military leader, warrior, Queen of the Forsaken, and answers to absolutely no one but herself and her people. Running through the Halls of Reflection with her and watching her fight was nothing short of badass. Picture it: you have entered the Halls of Reflection, your friends at your side, and Lady Sylvanas at the other. You encounter the sword of the Lich King, a battle ensues, and before you know it you are forced to escape. There you are, running down a cliff side, Sylvanas slowing the seemingly unstoppable beast that is Arthas with her abilities. She's telling you to fight, to give it all you got, as ice barriers build in front of you to stop you. You break through each one, overcoming obstacles and at last you reach what appears to be a dead end. Sylvanas raises her weapon and says the one thing any true military leader would: you will fight with her until the end, you will die with honor. Breathtaking.
This one is about my top five hottest male characters in video games. I find them hot for a lot of reasons, be it just look or just personality, or a great mix of both. So here goes!
5. Chris Redfield from Resident Evil 5 -
I. Want. To. Lick. Him...everywhere. Okay, I know he's kind of a shit character in a shit game with a shit story (I'm talking purely Resident Evil 5 Chris here), and he's obviously juicin' to get the kind of body he has (not that I personally care, but it has to be said), but I'd still do unspeakable things to him if he was real. Call me shallow, but staring at him from time to time almost made the atrocious fifth installment of Resident Evil worth playing...almost...as long as you put it on mute so you wouldn't have to listen to what came out of Chris' mouth. See, I know his merits are purely based on his ability to be eye candy, but RE 5 Chris Redfield is to a lot of gay men and some straight women what Lara Croft was to a lot straight men when she used to have jugs bigger than her own head.
I couldn't make a most overrated post and not make an underrated counterpart to it. This one is simple: five games that I think are underrated. They could be underrated because they got poor scores that they didn't deserve or because they sold very poorly when they should have, by all accounts, been runaway hits.
Let's do this!
5. Eternal Darkness -
Don't get me wrong, this game did relatively well. I just don't think it gets the appreciation it deserves. The story is fantastically well put together, with arches within arches of plot intertwining and weaving into a cohesive whole. It also happens to have a very special style of horror that you don't see in most survival-horror games to begin with. Add to this the fact that it had the innovative insanity effect and a spectacularly made spell creation system, and you have what is quite possibly one of the best survival-horror games of all time. It's a shame Silicon Knights is allergic to money, because if they weren't, this game would already have either a sequel or some sort of remake.
Time for my first "Top Five." This time I will discuss what I personally feel are the five most overrated games of all time. The games do not necessarily have to be bad, just overrated. What counts as overrated? Either games that sold more than I think they should have, or games that got obscenely high reviews I felt they didn't deserve, or a combination of both. Keep in mind that these are all opinion based, so you're welcome to strongly agree or disagree, or even agree to disagree altogether.
5. Metroid Prime -
Okay, I know this is not a popular sentiment, and I know I'm already going to be roasted alive for the jabs I'm going to make in the rest of this post. But I always felt that Metroid Prime was painfully, and I do mean painfully, overrated. The game rips the controller scheme almost verbatim from Goldeneye 007 and Perfect Dark, which would have been fine except that Halo had already implemented a much superior controller scheme. I don't completely blame Retro for this blunder, because the blame falls to the fact that the Gamecube controller lacks a proper second analog stick, but it would have been nice if Retro had at least given us the option. But no.What's worse is how slow the game is, and how painfully lacking her movements are. She moves like a tank with broken wheels trying to cross a pit of quicksand. This would be alright if it wasn't for the fact that the game is full of unnecessary backtracking. Don't get me wrong, all Metroids have backtracking (even the much more linear Other M does), but what made that bearable in other Metroids was the speed at which Samus could move across the world map. This also hinders the enjoyability of the environments, which although beautifully made, eventually start to wear thin the third time you pass through them at the speed at which molasses goes uphill during January, in crutches (if you get the reference, you are now my new best friend!).
The purpose of this blog is simple: to post a series of video game related "top fives" that absolutely nobody will ever bother to read. Because I can! That's why!
