Top Five - Worst Sidekicks Edition

Ah, the unavoidable sidekicks in video games. Sometimes, they rock (more on that in another article), and sometimes they stain games like explosive diarrhea to a pair of white underpants. So here is the list of the five most God awful video game sidekicks of all times! Enjoy (or cringe; either or is an acceptable reaction)!



5. Navi from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time -





"HEY! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! LISTEN!" Those words are so famous at this point that gamers have been using them as ringtones on their smartphones. Navi is not a bad sidekick, per se, she's just a painfully obnoxious one. Every time she talked I would secretly hope that Link would turn to her and say:

Top Five - "Best Low Budget Games" Edition

Don't cringe just yet! I know "low budget games" usually translates to "shovelware" (about 90% of the Wii's library), or bullshit casual games that tend to suck horribly. But the new style of game distribution online and in episodic content allows developers to create less expensive games and take bigger risks with their ideas. This is why sometimes, as much as I may love my Mass Effects, and my Bioshocks, and my countless other multi-million dollar budget titles, I still always look into the low-budget/indie gaming scene to find gems. Here are the best five low-budget games I've come across so far:



5. Costume Quest -





Tim Schafer. That's all you need to know. Okay, fine! Since you're not going to be convinced because you're evil like that, let me tell you about this one: it's an old-school styled RPG based around Halloween, which we all know is factually the coolest holiday ever. Kids get to dress up as anything cool they want, and the adults get to dress up like sluts. Everybody's happy! But that's not the point here: your sister (or brother, if you play as the female protagonist) is kidnapped by monsters during your night of Trick of Treating, and your job is to get him/her back safely in one piece. Along the way you meet a slew of other kids who are awesome, and together you fight evil to make things right. The coolest part? You battle in an alternate dimension where your real world costume translates to a badass form: dressed as a robot? You'll become a huge Transformer-like hero. Dressed as a knight? That applies too. There is even a costume that lets you become the Statue-of-mother-fuckin'-Liberty! You can also choose which costumes to wear and what costumes to give the other kids in your party. Even though the battle system is a little repetitive, the game just oozes charm it never stops being fun.

Top Five - Bizarre Games Edition

Also known as: "WTF, Japan?!?" This list is here to commemorate the five most bizarre video games ever made. I would say more, but really, I don't want to take away even a little bit of your mental acuity for this one: you're gonna' need all of it so that your head doesn't implode.



5. N.U.D.E.@ Natural Ultimate Digital Experiment (Xbox) -





Where do I start with this one? Before the Xbox released and took the world by storm (thanks to Halo: Combat Evolved), everyone pretty much considered the console dead on arrival. Microsoft struggled to gain Japanese support for their overweight machine (it's a glandular problem, I swear!). Sure, the Xbox would eventually gain some pretty awesome support from both SEGA and Tecmo, with Capcom, Konami, and Namco lending a hand here and there. But for every one of the good games, there was a terrible counterpart, and in some cases, a very bizarre one.

Top Five - New Generation Edition (Volume II)

It's been a while since I have had the chance to post new articles. I've been terribly busy, but I will continue to work on the blog whenever I can. Anyway, I realized about a week ago that this generation is awesome and only getting better, so I thought it'd pay a nice ode to amazing games this generation that didn't make the cut on the first list of "best games." Hope you enjoy it!



5. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption -





Here's the thing about me and the Prime series: the Prime series is a harsh, harsh mistress. At times it's cold and dead on the inside, and at others, it delivers above and beyond what I wanted. I find myself absolutely hating Metroid Prime, and though Echoes is an improvement over the first, I still find it horribly boring. I've already discussed this subject endlessly; Prime and Prime 2: Echoes are some of the most overrated games of all time (especially Prime).

Festive Friday

There are plenty of things happening nowadays so let's get to it! Cinco de Mayo yesterday and I hope you're recovering well if you were out celebrating last night. However, the day before was Star Wars Day when we could happily run around telling everyone we met: "May the Fourth be with you!" and cheekily grin as the phrase turns around and around in their heads.

As much as I wanted to run around having a light saber fight, I was pretty sure that my workplace would not have appreciated me bribing the students to come to the Dark Side because I had a plate of cookies. Meh, those kids ingest too much sugar anyways. *pouts*

I also wanted to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by playing some Viva Piñata, giving a few Tafflys French-sounding names, give all of my garden piñatas Hispanic names, and then go to town beating those bugs with my shovel!

Top Five - Video Game Villains Edition

"Meanwhile, at The Legion of Doom..."



MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Cue dramatic lightning!*

EVIL! EVIL I SAY! Without evil, there can be no good...and no fun! What would be the point of playing an RPG if impending doom wasn't hovering above the main character's head (and I mean that literally at times)? This one is a shout out to the most dastardly, deadly, and outright awesome villains in video game history!



5. The Great Mighty Poo from Conker's Bad Fur Day -





He's a giant, opera singing turd with digested corn for teeth. Need I say more? But just in case you want me to: he makes it to the list for being ingenious and hilarious in more ways than you could imagine. While Playstation fans were playing Final Fantasy and creaming themselves over an emo pretty boy, Nintendo fans were having a blast throwing toilet paper into The Great Mighty Poo's mouth. Let's cut the shit (geddit? Cut the shit? Har, har, har!): The Great Mighty Poo could make Sephiroth into his bitch if he wanted to! But he wouldn't actually do it...because deep down, at his hard, turdy core, all The Great Mighty Poo wants is to be recognized for his insanely powerful voice, and that's not really too much to ask is it?

Freak Out Friday

Well, this has been quite the week for the consoles, hm? I'm going to be a little lazy today and not attach links where I probably should. You're just going to have to take my word for it and the Google/ Bing it your own friggin' self. :D

My little freak out for this week? The fact that next year will see the birth of the successor to the...

Top Five - Video Game Lessons Edition

A silly one: the top five lessons I've learned from video games!



5. Heal Death at the Local Inn -



Okay, it's a little exaggerated, but there is some truth to this. The more stress you have the weaker your immune system becomes. Sometimes, rest is the best medicine. And you thought staying at the inn was just to boost the in-game economy!

Top Five - Video Game Power Couples Edition

Ah, video game couples! Like Hollywood couples but not entirely useless! Who gives a fuck about Brangelina when there's Meach? This top five is about my favorite couples in video game history: whether because their romances were truly touching or unintentionally funny, they all deserve a spot...



5. Mario and Peach -





This one has to make the list; not by default, but because it deserves it. You might think that this pairing is shallow and you'd be completely right. Of course nobody is expecting depth from a Super Mario story! Why would they? It's the gameplay that sells Mario titles (as it should be). But how many times has Mario saved Peach from doom even though we all know she doesn't put out for him? Yeah, this pairing has fueled some of the best video games ever made. See, you might argue that Super Mario is a game about stomping mushrooms and ridding the universe of some bad guy who has nothing better to do than try to outdo Godzilla as Japan's most well known anthropomorphic lizard...turtle...erm...thing... <_<

Top Five - Video Game Songs Edition

A short, but good one: my top five songs in video games up to now. Believe me, it was hard choosing just five considering just how good gaming music is. Seriously, the official soundtrack for Jet Set Radio Future is better than 99% of everything playing on American radio today. But I digress! Let's talk favorite video game songs...



5. "Kingdom of Ixa'Taka" from Skies of Arcadia -



The entire soundtrack from Skies of Arcadia is fantastic, but if I had to pick one song from such long list, the theme to Ixa'Taka would definitely be it. I'm a huge fan of Mesoamerica; that's why my major is anthropology, so this theme is like a dream come true for me. Just like the highest rated comment on that video states, I used to linger in this area of the game for hours just to listen to the song. This song is fun, adventurous, mysterious, and fascinating all at once: it's a perfect example of the entire theme and style of Skies of Arcadia condensed to a single piece of music.